I just read The Confidence Gap, an interesting article describing why women’s and men’s are so far apart.
What I find intriguing about Katty Kay and Claire Shipman research is that it helps me to see WHY I am the way I am.
The reasons WHY this gap exists really resonated with me. The authors share findings from Carol Dweck’s “Mindset” (one of my favourite books) for example, early on in school, girls get a lot of praise for being perfect and that we choose to avoid taking risks and making mistakes.
I was the girl being describe throughout the article.
I still remember the only time I was in trouble was in grade 2 when I stood up for a boy who was being falsely accused by the librarian!
But, knowing WHY we don’t Lean In, isn’t good enough.
I promise I wasn’t being complacent when I didn’t post last week.
It was a choice. I value every second of holiday that I have with my family and had committed to not working while we were away. I didn’t give myself space to even think about work.
I guess my ability to compartmentalize is a gift, but it comes at a cost.
Last week my coach and I were talking about the goals that I was working towards. Luckily, I think about them often, so I could answer her questions. The irony is that it wasn’t long ago that I would have had NO clue. I would have manipulated the conversation so that I didn’t have to define anything.
My approach then was to trust that I was working really hard and whatever results I achieved were the best I could do.
That was a cop out.
My response was totally based in fear. I didn’t want to define a goal, because then I had the chance of not reaching it, of failing. Continue reading
Over the past week I have been reminded of how hesitant so many women are to ASK FOR WHAT we WANT.
Have you ever found yourself in front of an opportunity, a perspective client thinking, etc…thinking: “I want this”, “I know I can help them”, “They are exactly who I’d love to work with”, etc… but you don’t take advantage of the opportunity?
What stops you?
What has stopped me in the past is a fear of being perceived a certain way. I know I am not alone, I hear it from so many others. A fear of people thinking they are pushy, greedy, desperate, arrogant, cheezy, etc…