Permission to Stop Giving

I was recently ‘stood up’, by a no-show, despite the fact that I had carved time out my schedule to give to someone for free.

I was annoyed.

I was giving my time away because I felt I SHOULD and it wasn’t received or valued.

MY BAD.

I have realized that for me there’s a clear distinction between giving something away that I WANT to, and giving something away I feel I HAVE to or SHOULD.

The no-show was MY reminder that it’s up to me to start creating my own boundaries for what I WANT to be giving away.

I know I’m not alone.

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4 Tips to Stop Minimizing What You Have to Say

The topic of low self-confidence has been on my radar recently and its impact on our ability to reach our goals.

Projecting low self-confidence isn’t only reserved for those who have internal self-doubt.

What I am noticing is that low self-confidence is also being unintentionally projected even by those who feel more self-assured.

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The guilt trap

 

In most of the workshops I host, when professional women talk about their lives and the need to prioritize and make decisions, the word ‘guilt’ always comes up.   Especially when talking about trying to juggle everything that’s important to us.

What’s incredible is the power that guilt can have over someone.

Guilt comes in all shapes and sizes.  Guilt of working too hard, not spending enough time at home, not spending enough time with their partners or parents, doing too little for family, for school, and on and on….

I get it.  I too feel guilty sometimes.

Luckily, I now know guilt is a choice and that it doesn’t help me, it just traps me.

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Internalizing Feedback – 3 Tips to Stop

Over the past few weeks I have been facilitating many workshops for TD Bank’s female entrepreneurial clients. Guiding these women through a strategic goal setting approach to help them get really clear about what is important to them at work and in life, and then creating a plan to make them happen… while expanding their networks with like-minded women. I love this work!

The workshop is designed to give the participants a lot of opportunities to share experiences, think strategically, plan and connect.

The energy in the room is vibrant, there’s lots of talking and as participants leave, I hear wonderful feedback.

Then there are the feedback forms.

As I was about to go through forms from the first workshop I literally found myself holding my breath before looking at the sheets.

For some reason I was nervous.

Nervous about uncovering someone didn’t derive tremendous value for the time they invested or didn’t have the same experience that I had intended for them or that they didn’t like my facilitation style, etc…

Nervous I was going to hear something negative.

Luckily I now know ways to get over myself and wanted to share 3 Tips so you can too:

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Closing the Confidence Gap

I just read The Confidence Gap, an interesting article describing why women’s and men’s are so far apart.

What I find intriguing about Katty Kay and Claire Shipman research is that it helps me to see WHY I am the way I am.

 The reasons WHY this gap exists really resonated with me. The authors share findings from Carol Dweck’s “Mindset”  (one of my favourite books) for example, early on in school, girls get a lot of praise for being perfect and that we choose to avoid taking risks and making mistakes.

I was the girl being describe throughout the article.

I still remember the only time I was in trouble was in grade 2 when I stood up for a boy who was being falsely accused by the librarian!

But, knowing WHY we don’t Lean In, isn’t good enough.

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We are not asking!

Over the past week I have been reminded of how hesitant so many women are to ASK FOR WHAT we WANT.

Have you ever found yourself in front of an opportunity, a perspective client thinking, etc…thinking: “I want this”, “I know I can help them”, “They are exactly who I’d love to work with”, etc… but you don’t take advantage of the opportunity?

What stops you?

What has stopped me in the past is a fear of being perceived a certain way. I know I am not alone, I hear it from so many others. A fear of people thinking they are pushy, greedy, desperate, arrogant, cheezy, etc…

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Selling Yourself – 3 Quick Ways to do it Authentically and with Confidence

It’s not polite to talk about yourself. Have you heard this before? I grew up hearing my mother’s voice in my head “I can always count on you to be appropriate”. My interpretation of this was that I should not talk highly about myself. I should down play my abilities and accomplishments, deflect compliments and not share my successes.

What I KNOW NOW is that this message from my past isn’t helping me to achieve my goals…and I bet some of your messages are not helping you either! And who’s kidding who, no matter what your title is, you are in sales. We always need to sell ourselves, no matter what our role is.

I wanted to share the 3 Biggest mistakes we make when selling ourselves, self-promoting and offer you solutions to be able to authentically talk about yourself in a way that doesn’t feel uncomfortable or salesy!

Hmmm....have you asked yourself this question?
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