4 Tips to Stop Minimizing What You Have to Say

The topic of low self-confidence has been on my radar recently and its impact on our ability to reach our goals.

Projecting low self-confidence isn’t only reserved for those who have internal self-doubt.

What I am noticing is that low self-confidence is also being unintentionally projected even by those who feel more self-assured.

Continue reading

Internalizing Feedback – 3 Tips to Stop

Over the past few weeks I have been facilitating many workshops for TD Bank’s female entrepreneurial clients. Guiding these women through a strategic goal setting approach to help them get really clear about what is important to them at work and in life, and then creating a plan to make them happen… while expanding their networks with like-minded women. I love this work!

The workshop is designed to give the participants a lot of opportunities to share experiences, think strategically, plan and connect.

The energy in the room is vibrant, there’s lots of talking and as participants leave, I hear wonderful feedback.

Then there are the feedback forms.

As I was about to go through forms from the first workshop I literally found myself holding my breath before looking at the sheets.

For some reason I was nervous.

Nervous about uncovering someone didn’t derive tremendous value for the time they invested or didn’t have the same experience that I had intended for them or that they didn’t like my facilitation style, etc…

Nervous I was going to hear something negative.

Luckily I now know ways to get over myself and wanted to share 3 Tips so you can too:

Continue reading

Trading perfection for results

An unsolicited email from a few days ago fueled this post.

Imagine how different life would feel if we stopped taxing ourselves with a need to be perfect? To be superhuman.

Living this way is exhausting and debilitating, and doesn’t lead to much joy.

Intellectually we ‘know’ that nobody is perfect, so why are we afraid to admit it and are often embarrassed by it?

The email I received highlighted the negative perception too many of us carry around about not having “it all together”.

The email was from a professional woman who wanted to get promoted and knew that she needed to work on a few things.

What was disheartening was that her ‘ask’ came with a veil of silence.

Her choice perspective about asking for help was seen as a weakness.

I believe the opposite is true.

Continue reading

Closing the Confidence Gap

I just read The Confidence Gap, an interesting article describing why women’s and men’s are so far apart.

What I find intriguing about Katty Kay and Claire Shipman research is that it helps me to see WHY I am the way I am.

 The reasons WHY this gap exists really resonated with me. The authors share findings from Carol Dweck’s “Mindset”  (one of my favourite books) for example, early on in school, girls get a lot of praise for being perfect and that we choose to avoid taking risks and making mistakes.

I was the girl being describe throughout the article.

I still remember the only time I was in trouble was in grade 2 when I stood up for a boy who was being falsely accused by the librarian!

But, knowing WHY we don’t Lean In, isn’t good enough.

Continue reading

Selling Yourself – 3 Quick Ways to do it Authentically and with Confidence

It’s not polite to talk about yourself. Have you heard this before? I grew up hearing my mother’s voice in my head “I can always count on you to be appropriate”. My interpretation of this was that I should not talk highly about myself. I should down play my abilities and accomplishments, deflect compliments and not share my successes.

What I KNOW NOW is that this message from my past isn’t helping me to achieve my goals…and I bet some of your messages are not helping you either! And who’s kidding who, no matter what your title is, you are in sales. We always need to sell ourselves, no matter what our role is.

I wanted to share the 3 Biggest mistakes we make when selling ourselves, self-promoting and offer you solutions to be able to authentically talk about yourself in a way that doesn’t feel uncomfortable or salesy!

Hmmm....have you asked yourself this question?
Continue reading

Leaning in to achieve your goals

Here's an image to visually show you what happens when you move from your comfort zone by plugging into your power zone.

Imagine your Goal as a dot well off the right side of this pict,  plugging into your Power Zone gets you out of your Comfort Zone and into action to REACH your goals!

I have just started to read Sheryl Sandberg’s (COO of Facebook) book called Lean In. I am only 30 pages into the book, in the throes of all the reasons why things are how they are for women. What keeps popping up into my mind is….so what can we do about it! I’m sure Sheryl is going to get there, but I am a doer, and prefer to take action.  I often ‘fail forward’ but that’s for another post;)

So what do you do when there’s an opportunity in front of you that also evokes your insecurities or self doubt?  How do you move into action, when you are not feeling fully confident?  Anyone?

I’ll go first.  I personally plug into my “Power Zone “as a way to move past the self-doubt, the negative messages from the past and insecurities, and into action.

Continue reading