Every day I am amazed by the number of incredible, competent, intelligent and driven women who share with me the fact that they question themselves.
Can you relate?
Do you ever find yourself:
Second guessing if you are good enough?
Worrying that somebody is going to discover your dirty little secret? …. You didn’t go to University? ….You didn’t do very well there? Etc….
Worried that someone is going to realize you aren’t as smart as they thought you were?
Fearful that you won’t live up to people’s expectations?
And the list goes on and on…..
MY BELIEF: We choose our thoughts. There’s only space for ONE thought at a time, so choose a thought that adds value to you! I am going to share 3 tips that you can use to help choose productively.
P.S. You have most likely been practicing your self-defeating thoughts subconsciously your entire life, I sure did. Shutting them down is going to feel unnatural, challenging, etc… Changing habits takes work, but if you don’t work at it, nothing will ever change!
TIP 1. TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR THOUGHTS. THEY ARE PROBABLY COSTING YOU.
Your limiting thoughts are undoubtedly stopping you from taking action at work or in your personal life. They often keep us in our Comfort Zone, not wanting or willing to get uncomfortable. This comes at a cost.
One way to move past the thought is by stopping to think about what will work or life be like, one year from now if nothing changes?
Your answer probably highlights the fact that it’s WORTH getting uncomfortable and stretching outside of your Comfort Zone. If you don’t, the cost would be too high.
For example, I have a client who wanted to be in a leadership role within her company. Her negative thoughts were keeping her from requesting the meeting to discuss her career. When asked how she will feel one year from now if nothing changes, she realized a lot was at stake! Her awareness and necessity became a HUGE catalyst for taking action.
The details around her didn’t change, it was just how she chose to see them. By taking the time to acknowledge and own that her limiting thoughts were standing between her and the position, she knew it was worth getting uncomfortable, because there was so much to lose if she didn’t.
You Can Ask Yourself:
- What action is your thought stopping you from taking?
- What’s the impact of not taking this action?
- One year from now, if nothing changes how will you feel?
TIP 2. SHARE – this may feel counter intuitive for successful women.
Talk about it. No kidding! When I facilitate Lean In Circles, or run my Programs and Workshops, I watch big shifts happening simply when women talk and sharing their experiences. The impact is incredible when women realize that they are not alone. Trusting that they don’t have to pretend to be super women or perfect. What I have realized is that there’s so much value in being authentic, being just who you truly are.
You’ll find that if you are transparent and honest, people will be drawn to this, versus sitting in judgment. I dare you to try. Schedule a coffee with a colleague or friend and share where you are at, where you want to go…and what’s standing in your way.
TIP 3. OWN YOUR TRUTH?
If you are like the women I work with, you have been told quite frequently that you are great. That you are good at what you do, an asset to the team, run a great business, etc… But even if you haven’t been receiving the compliments…….this still applies to you too.
Nothing will change for you unless you own and trust in yourself. Taking the time to really acknowledge your truth. The value you bring to your team, your company, your family, etc…. if you don’t believe in yourself, why should others?
Trust me, the outcome of a pitch, meeting or conversation is very different if you go in trusting in yourself, vs if you go in second guessing yourself.
Here are 3 steps:
1. Take a moment right now and write down your Truth. What are your strengths? What value do you bring to your team, to your company? What makes you good at what you do?
(If you can’t think of any…then you really need to connect with me by visiting www.tunercoaching.com and registering for a FREE Strategy Session. If you are feeling this way, your team, clients, boss….whoever…. are picking up on it and the perceived value you are bringing to them is being questioned.)
2. Ask yourself, how are you benefitting from minimizing or negating your truth?
3. You most likely aren’t. With this awareness, choose to change your thoughts, by trusting and owning your value, in one situation at a time.
Maybe you have other tips? We’d love to hear what you did!