Limiting Beliefs – 3 Tips for Shutting them Down

Every day I am amazed by the number of incredible, competent, intelligent and driven women who share with me the fact that they question themselves.

Can you relate? 

Do you ever find yourself:

Second guessing if you are good enough?

Worrying that somebody is going to discover your dirty little secret? …. You didn’t go to University? ….You didn’t do very well there? Etc….

Worried that someone is going to realize you aren’t as smart as they thought you were?

Fearful that you won’t live up to people’s expectations?

And the list goes on and on…..

MY BELIEF:  We choose our thoughts.  There’s only space for ONE thought at a time, so choose a thought that adds value to you! I am going to share 3 tips that you can use to help choose productively.

P.S. You have most likely been practicing your self-defeating thoughts subconsciously your entire life, I sure did.  Shutting them down is going to feel unnatural, challenging, etc… Changing habits takes work, but if you don’t work at it, nothing will ever change! 

 

TIP 1.  TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR THOUGHTS. THEY ARE PROBABLY COSTING YOU.

Your limiting thoughts are undoubtedly stopping you from taking action at work or in your personal life.  They often keep us in our Comfort Zone, not wanting or willing to get uncomfortable.  This comes at a cost. 

One way to move past the thought is by stopping to think about what will work or life be like, one year from now if nothing changes

Your answer probably highlights the fact that it’s WORTH getting uncomfortable and stretching outside of your Comfort Zone.  If you don’t, the cost would be too high.

For example, I have a client who wanted to be in a leadership role within her company.  Her negative thoughts were keeping her from requesting the meeting to discuss her career.  When asked how she will feel one year from now if nothing changes, she realized a lot was at stake! Her awareness and necessity became a HUGE catalyst for taking action.

The details around her didn’t change, it was just how she chose to see them.  By taking the time to acknowledge and own that her limiting thoughts were standing between her and the position, she knew it was worth getting uncomfortable, because there was so much to lose if she didn’t.

You Can Ask Yourself:  

  1. What action is your thought stopping you from taking?
  2. What’s the impact of not taking this action? 
  3. One year from now, if nothing changes how will you feel?

TIP 2. SHARE – this may feel counter intuitive for successful women.

Talk about it. No kidding!  When I facilitate Lean In Circles, or run my Programs and Workshops, I watch big shifts happening simply when women talk and sharing their experiences.   The impact is incredible when women realize that they are not alone. Trusting that they don’t have to pretend to be super women or perfect.  What I have realized is that there’s so much value in being authentic, being just who you truly are.

You’ll find that if you are transparent and honest, people will be drawn to this, versus sitting in judgment. I dare you to try. Schedule a coffee with a colleague or friend and share where you are at, where you want to go…and what’s standing in your way.

TIP 3. OWN YOUR TRUTH?

If you are like the women I work with, you have been told quite frequently that you are great. That you are good at what you do, an asset to the team, run a great business, etc…  But even if you haven’t been receiving the compliments…….this still applies to you too.

Nothing will change for you unless you own and trust in yourself.  Taking the time to really acknowledge your truth. The value you bring to your team, your company, your family, etc….  if you don’t believe in yourself, why should others?

Trust me, the outcome of a pitch, meeting or conversation is very different if you go in trusting in yourself, vs if you go in second guessing yourself. 

Here are 3 steps:

1. Take a moment right now and write down your Truth. What are your strengths? What value do you bring to your team, to your company? What makes you good at what you do? 

(If you can’t think of any…then you really need to connect with me by visiting www.tunercoaching.com and registering for a FREE Strategy Session.  If you are feeling this way, your team, clients, boss….whoever…. are picking up on it and the perceived value you are bringing to them is being questioned.)

2. Ask yourself, how are you benefitting from minimizing or negating your truth?

3. You most likely aren’t. With this awareness, choose to change your thoughts, by trusting and owning your value, in one situation at a time.

Maybe you have other tips? We’d love to hear what you did!

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The Value of Sharing

I freakin’ love the amazing outcomes that transpire when you bring a group of motivated and intentional women together.  

Some of my most favourite memories are from times with girlfriends, sitting around, drinking wine and sharing.  Talking authentically about our lives. What’s working, what’s not, whatever……. No pretenses, no need to pretend we are anything but ourselves.

This morning, I was reminded of the value of sharing as I facilitated a Lean In Circle for The Women’s Executive Network .  These women came in as strangers and left connected.

The connections were created by their willingness to share.  Their stories, their challenges and triumphs.

We'd love to hear yours...

We’d love to hear yours…

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What Do You Want?

Over the weekend I was sitting reading my favourite magazine, Inc. Every time I pick it up I get inspired, I dream, I scribble my thoughts down on paper. I feel totally pumped and giddy with excitement and possibility.

What was unique about this past weekend is that when I turned a page of the magazine and it opened to a picture of a woman and my gut reaction was “I want to be in this magazine.”

Truthfully, YOU COULDN’T HAVE PAID ME TO DECLARE, in public, the thought that I actually WANT to be in Inc. magazine.

But my truth is, I do. 

My visual reminder.

My visual reminder.

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Giving Yourself Props

This idea came to me on Halloween morning when my son decided to change his costume, amidst the chaos of a regular pre-school morning.  He was in indecision mode for quite a while, which would normally drive me CRAZY, because I still had lunches to make, a daughter to wake, etc….Thank goodness we found a solution that he was thrilled with and we all managed to make it to school on time.

Post drop off, I called my girlfriend out of a strong desire just to give myself props.  I could have easily been so frustrated and lost my patience but I didn’t.  I was quite proud of the fact that I navigated the scenario in a way that in retrospect didn’t embarrass me! I consciously chose in that moment to respond with patience. 

My need to share had nothing to do with ego, it was more about delight that I didn’t buckle under pressure. I stayed the course I had wanted to.

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