4 Tips to Stop Minimizing What You Have to Say

The topic of low self-confidence has been on my radar recently and its impact on our ability to reach our goals.

Projecting low self-confidence isn’t only reserved for those who have internal self-doubt.

What I am noticing is that low self-confidence is also being unintentionally projected even by those who feel more self-assured.

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Trading perfection for results

An unsolicited email from a few days ago fueled this post.

Imagine how different life would feel if we stopped taxing ourselves with a need to be perfect? To be superhuman.

Living this way is exhausting and debilitating, and doesn’t lead to much joy.

Intellectually we ‘know’ that nobody is perfect, so why are we afraid to admit it and are often embarrassed by it?

The email I received highlighted the negative perception too many of us carry around about not having “it all together”.

The email was from a professional woman who wanted to get promoted and knew that she needed to work on a few things.

What was disheartening was that her ‘ask’ came with a veil of silence.

Her choice perspective about asking for help was seen as a weakness.

I believe the opposite is true.

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Closing the Confidence Gap

I just read The Confidence Gap, an interesting article describing why women’s and men’s are so far apart.

What I find intriguing about Katty Kay and Claire Shipman research is that it helps me to see WHY I am the way I am.

 The reasons WHY this gap exists really resonated with me. The authors share findings from Carol Dweck’s “Mindset”  (one of my favourite books) for example, early on in school, girls get a lot of praise for being perfect and that we choose to avoid taking risks and making mistakes.

I was the girl being describe throughout the article.

I still remember the only time I was in trouble was in grade 2 when I stood up for a boy who was being falsely accused by the librarian!

But, knowing WHY we don’t Lean In, isn’t good enough.

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Who needs to know?

Last week my coach and I were talking about the goals that I was working towards. Luckily, I think about them often, so I could answer her questions. The irony is that it wasn’t long ago that I would have had NO clue. I would have manipulated the conversation so that I didn’t have to define anything.

My approach then was to trust that I was working really hard and whatever results I achieved were the best I could do.

That was a cop out.

My response was totally based in fear. I didn’t want to define a goal, because then I had the chance of not reaching it, of failing. Continue reading

Selling Yourself – 3 Quick Ways to do it Authentically and with Confidence

It’s not polite to talk about yourself. Have you heard this before? I grew up hearing my mother’s voice in my head “I can always count on you to be appropriate”. My interpretation of this was that I should not talk highly about myself. I should down play my abilities and accomplishments, deflect compliments and not share my successes.

What I KNOW NOW is that this message from my past isn’t helping me to achieve my goals…and I bet some of your messages are not helping you either! And who’s kidding who, no matter what your title is, you are in sales. We always need to sell ourselves, no matter what our role is.

I wanted to share the 3 Biggest mistakes we make when selling ourselves, self-promoting and offer you solutions to be able to authentically talk about yourself in a way that doesn’t feel uncomfortable or salesy!

Hmmm....have you asked yourself this question?
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