Using Gratitude as a Tool For Success

Canadian Thanksgiving weekend has just come to a close.

What I love about this past weekend is that it creates a time when we intentionally focus on what we are grateful for.

I believe that no matter what our circumstances are, everybody has something to be grateful for.

Even in my toughest moments, gratitude is what has helped me navigate through.

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3 Steps to A New Beginning

September feels like a new beginning. I know I am not alone.

Between my friends and clients it is amazing how many have shared the same.

Sometimes our new beginnings are FORCED, like my client who was told she has to look for another job.

Other times, it’s a CHOICE, like for my friend who has chosen to quit the job she hated…
And then there’s everything in between from divorce to moving cities, etc.

For me, my new beginning stems from the fact that I chose to unplug and totally disconnect from work over the summer. There were so many benefits and I feel very grateful to have done it, however it does come at a cost.

My calendar feels less than stellar and it’s time for me to re-focus to make sure that one year from now, I don’t look back and feel that I’m still in the same spot.

Even if you don’t have a new beginning “happening”, you can Choose for September to be an intentional starting point.

Here are three things I am going to do and you can too:

#1 STOP AND GET CLEAR.
This is where we get clarity about what we want to transpire between now and 6, 10, 12 months from now, or whatever time frame works for you.

You can even start by asking yourself:

“What do I want more of?” and “What do I want less of?”

Then get SPECIFIC about your goals.
I find that with a plan, I feel like I am in the driver’s seat, vs having my wheels spinning and not making any traction.

#2 TAKE ACTION.
Enough said.
A tactic is to schedule your activity. Put your priorities into your calendar to make time for them.

#3 BE GRATEFUL
This summer I was introduced to a really simple concept that resonated with me.

The concept comes from a man who I had never heard of prior to watching his video. His name is Vishen Lakhiani of www.mindvalley.com. He shares how his business and life thrive and prosper when he’s in FLOW.

Which in concept is a balance between being:

GRATEFUL AND HAPPY FOR TODAY       AND       HAVING A CLEAR VISION OF WHERE YOU ARE GOING

I know that I often get stuck and focus on what I have yet to achieve or the gap between where I am vs where I want to be, or what I’m not doing.

I know it’s not helpful.

It impacts my ability to enjoy the moment and be happy for what I have created and have in my life.

I know that feeling happy propels me at work and in life to do better.
So, being in FLOW is my new Choice.

I invite you to follow these 3 steps and create your purposeful beginning too.

 

Permission to Stop Giving

I was recently ‘stood up’, by a no-show, despite the fact that I had carved time out my schedule to give to someone for free.

I was annoyed.

I was giving my time away because I felt I SHOULD and it wasn’t received or valued.

MY BAD.

I have realized that for me there’s a clear distinction between giving something away that I WANT to, and giving something away I feel I HAVE to or SHOULD.

The no-show was MY reminder that it’s up to me to start creating my own boundaries for what I WANT to be giving away.

I know I’m not alone.

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4 Tips to Stop Minimizing What You Have to Say

The topic of low self-confidence has been on my radar recently and its impact on our ability to reach our goals.

Projecting low self-confidence isn’t only reserved for those who have internal self-doubt.

What I am noticing is that low self-confidence is also being unintentionally projected even by those who feel more self-assured.

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The guilt trap

 

In most of the workshops I host, when professional women talk about their lives and the need to prioritize and make decisions, the word ‘guilt’ always comes up.   Especially when talking about trying to juggle everything that’s important to us.

What’s incredible is the power that guilt can have over someone.

Guilt comes in all shapes and sizes.  Guilt of working too hard, not spending enough time at home, not spending enough time with their partners or parents, doing too little for family, for school, and on and on….

I get it.  I too feel guilty sometimes.

Luckily, I now know guilt is a choice and that it doesn’t help me, it just traps me.

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Trading perfection for results

An unsolicited email from a few days ago fueled this post.

Imagine how different life would feel if we stopped taxing ourselves with a need to be perfect? To be superhuman.

Living this way is exhausting and debilitating, and doesn’t lead to much joy.

Intellectually we ‘know’ that nobody is perfect, so why are we afraid to admit it and are often embarrassed by it?

The email I received highlighted the negative perception too many of us carry around about not having “it all together”.

The email was from a professional woman who wanted to get promoted and knew that she needed to work on a few things.

What was disheartening was that her ‘ask’ came with a veil of silence.

Her choice perspective about asking for help was seen as a weakness.

I believe the opposite is true.

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Closing the Confidence Gap

I just read The Confidence Gap, an interesting article describing why women’s and men’s are so far apart.

What I find intriguing about Katty Kay and Claire Shipman research is that it helps me to see WHY I am the way I am.

 The reasons WHY this gap exists really resonated with me. The authors share findings from Carol Dweck’s “Mindset”  (one of my favourite books) for example, early on in school, girls get a lot of praise for being perfect and that we choose to avoid taking risks and making mistakes.

I was the girl being describe throughout the article.

I still remember the only time I was in trouble was in grade 2 when I stood up for a boy who was being falsely accused by the librarian!

But, knowing WHY we don’t Lean In, isn’t good enough.

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Who needs to know?

Last week my coach and I were talking about the goals that I was working towards. Luckily, I think about them often, so I could answer her questions. The irony is that it wasn’t long ago that I would have had NO clue. I would have manipulated the conversation so that I didn’t have to define anything.

My approach then was to trust that I was working really hard and whatever results I achieved were the best I could do.

That was a cop out.

My response was totally based in fear. I didn’t want to define a goal, because then I had the chance of not reaching it, of failing. Continue reading

We are not asking!

Over the past week I have been reminded of how hesitant so many women are to ASK FOR WHAT we WANT.

Have you ever found yourself in front of an opportunity, a perspective client thinking, etc…thinking: “I want this”, “I know I can help them”, “They are exactly who I’d love to work with”, etc… but you don’t take advantage of the opportunity?

What stops you?

What has stopped me in the past is a fear of being perceived a certain way. I know I am not alone, I hear it from so many others. A fear of people thinking they are pushy, greedy, desperate, arrogant, cheezy, etc…

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Don’t wait for Cancer

I’m sitting here, shivering, in my hospital gown, scribbling this post while I am waiting for another checkup.

I am being monitored.

I am ok. I am healthy.

On my way to this appointment, it dawned on me – WHY would I want to wait for Cancer to become bolder and braver, to be more courageous?

To be willing to disrupt!

I am not talking about quitting my job, leaving my husband, etc…. That’s not what needs to change for me.

It doesn’t have to be drastic.

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