Using Gratitude as a Tool For Success

Canadian Thanksgiving weekend has just come to a close.

What I love about this past weekend is that it creates a time when we intentionally focus on what we are grateful for.

I believe that no matter what our circumstances are, everybody has something to be grateful for.

Even in my toughest moments, gratitude is what has helped me navigate through.

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3 Steps to A New Beginning

September feels like a new beginning. I know I am not alone.

Between my friends and clients it is amazing how many have shared the same.

Sometimes our new beginnings are FORCED, like my client who was told she has to look for another job.

Other times, it’s a CHOICE, like for my friend who has chosen to quit the job she hated…
And then there’s everything in between from divorce to moving cities, etc.

For me, my new beginning stems from the fact that I chose to unplug and totally disconnect from work over the summer. There were so many benefits and I feel very grateful to have done it, however it does come at a cost.

My calendar feels less than stellar and it’s time for me to re-focus to make sure that one year from now, I don’t look back and feel that I’m still in the same spot.

Even if you don’t have a new beginning “happening”, you can Choose for September to be an intentional starting point.

Here are three things I am going to do and you can too:

#1 STOP AND GET CLEAR.
This is where we get clarity about what we want to transpire between now and 6, 10, 12 months from now, or whatever time frame works for you.

You can even start by asking yourself:

“What do I want more of?” and “What do I want less of?”

Then get SPECIFIC about your goals.
I find that with a plan, I feel like I am in the driver’s seat, vs having my wheels spinning and not making any traction.

#2 TAKE ACTION.
Enough said.
A tactic is to schedule your activity. Put your priorities into your calendar to make time for them.

#3 BE GRATEFUL
This summer I was introduced to a really simple concept that resonated with me.

The concept comes from a man who I had never heard of prior to watching his video. His name is Vishen Lakhiani of www.mindvalley.com. He shares how his business and life thrive and prosper when he’s in FLOW.

Which in concept is a balance between being:

GRATEFUL AND HAPPY FOR TODAY       AND       HAVING A CLEAR VISION OF WHERE YOU ARE GOING

I know that I often get stuck and focus on what I have yet to achieve or the gap between where I am vs where I want to be, or what I’m not doing.

I know it’s not helpful.

It impacts my ability to enjoy the moment and be happy for what I have created and have in my life.

I know that feeling happy propels me at work and in life to do better.
So, being in FLOW is my new Choice.

I invite you to follow these 3 steps and create your purposeful beginning too.

 

4 Tips to Stop Minimizing What You Have to Say

The topic of low self-confidence has been on my radar recently and its impact on our ability to reach our goals.

Projecting low self-confidence isn’t only reserved for those who have internal self-doubt.

What I am noticing is that low self-confidence is also being unintentionally projected even by those who feel more self-assured.

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Internalizing Feedback – 3 Tips to Stop

Over the past few weeks I have been facilitating many workshops for TD Bank’s female entrepreneurial clients. Guiding these women through a strategic goal setting approach to help them get really clear about what is important to them at work and in life, and then creating a plan to make them happen… while expanding their networks with like-minded women. I love this work!

The workshop is designed to give the participants a lot of opportunities to share experiences, think strategically, plan and connect.

The energy in the room is vibrant, there’s lots of talking and as participants leave, I hear wonderful feedback.

Then there are the feedback forms.

As I was about to go through forms from the first workshop I literally found myself holding my breath before looking at the sheets.

For some reason I was nervous.

Nervous about uncovering someone didn’t derive tremendous value for the time they invested or didn’t have the same experience that I had intended for them or that they didn’t like my facilitation style, etc…

Nervous I was going to hear something negative.

Luckily I now know ways to get over myself and wanted to share 3 Tips so you can too:

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We are not asking!

Over the past week I have been reminded of how hesitant so many women are to ASK FOR WHAT we WANT.

Have you ever found yourself in front of an opportunity, a perspective client thinking, etc…thinking: “I want this”, “I know I can help them”, “They are exactly who I’d love to work with”, etc… but you don’t take advantage of the opportunity?

What stops you?

What has stopped me in the past is a fear of being perceived a certain way. I know I am not alone, I hear it from so many others. A fear of people thinking they are pushy, greedy, desperate, arrogant, cheezy, etc…

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Limiting Beliefs – 3 Tips for Shutting them Down

Every day I am amazed by the number of incredible, competent, intelligent and driven women who share with me the fact that they question themselves.

Can you relate? 

Do you ever find yourself:

Second guessing if you are good enough?

Worrying that somebody is going to discover your dirty little secret? …. You didn’t go to University? ….You didn’t do very well there? Etc….

Worried that someone is going to realize you aren’t as smart as they thought you were?

Fearful that you won’t live up to people’s expectations?

And the list goes on and on…..

MY BELIEF:  We choose our thoughts.  There’s only space for ONE thought at a time, so choose a thought that adds value to you! I am going to share 3 tips that you can use to help choose productively.

P.S. You have most likely been practicing your self-defeating thoughts subconsciously your entire life, I sure did.  Shutting them down is going to feel unnatural, challenging, etc… Changing habits takes work, but if you don’t work at it, nothing will ever change! 

 

TIP 1.  TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR THOUGHTS. THEY ARE PROBABLY COSTING YOU.

Your limiting thoughts are undoubtedly stopping you from taking action at work or in your personal life.  They often keep us in our Comfort Zone, not wanting or willing to get uncomfortable.  This comes at a cost. 

One way to move past the thought is by stopping to think about what will work or life be like, one year from now if nothing changes

Your answer probably highlights the fact that it’s WORTH getting uncomfortable and stretching outside of your Comfort Zone.  If you don’t, the cost would be too high.

For example, I have a client who wanted to be in a leadership role within her company.  Her negative thoughts were keeping her from requesting the meeting to discuss her career.  When asked how she will feel one year from now if nothing changes, she realized a lot was at stake! Her awareness and necessity became a HUGE catalyst for taking action.

The details around her didn’t change, it was just how she chose to see them.  By taking the time to acknowledge and own that her limiting thoughts were standing between her and the position, she knew it was worth getting uncomfortable, because there was so much to lose if she didn’t.

You Can Ask Yourself:  

  1. What action is your thought stopping you from taking?
  2. What’s the impact of not taking this action? 
  3. One year from now, if nothing changes how will you feel?

TIP 2. SHARE – this may feel counter intuitive for successful women.

Talk about it. No kidding!  When I facilitate Lean In Circles, or run my Programs and Workshops, I watch big shifts happening simply when women talk and sharing their experiences.   The impact is incredible when women realize that they are not alone. Trusting that they don’t have to pretend to be super women or perfect.  What I have realized is that there’s so much value in being authentic, being just who you truly are.

You’ll find that if you are transparent and honest, people will be drawn to this, versus sitting in judgment. I dare you to try. Schedule a coffee with a colleague or friend and share where you are at, where you want to go…and what’s standing in your way.

TIP 3. OWN YOUR TRUTH?

If you are like the women I work with, you have been told quite frequently that you are great. That you are good at what you do, an asset to the team, run a great business, etc…  But even if you haven’t been receiving the compliments…….this still applies to you too.

Nothing will change for you unless you own and trust in yourself.  Taking the time to really acknowledge your truth. The value you bring to your team, your company, your family, etc….  if you don’t believe in yourself, why should others?

Trust me, the outcome of a pitch, meeting or conversation is very different if you go in trusting in yourself, vs if you go in second guessing yourself. 

Here are 3 steps:

1. Take a moment right now and write down your Truth. What are your strengths? What value do you bring to your team, to your company? What makes you good at what you do? 

(If you can’t think of any…then you really need to connect with me by visiting www.tunercoaching.com and registering for a FREE Strategy Session.  If you are feeling this way, your team, clients, boss….whoever…. are picking up on it and the perceived value you are bringing to them is being questioned.)

2. Ask yourself, how are you benefitting from minimizing or negating your truth?

3. You most likely aren’t. With this awareness, choose to change your thoughts, by trusting and owning your value, in one situation at a time.

Maybe you have other tips? We’d love to hear what you did!

The Upside of Goal Setting

Until the last few years, I NEVER set goals.  I actually avoided committing to ANY specific desired outcome.  My reason ….I trusted that I was always doing my best, so if I fell short of my goals, I didn’t want to feel badly about it. 

I realize now that this was a COP OUT

By not having a clear idea of what I wanted to create in my life and work,  I was allowing myself to live and stay within my comfort zone. 

There’s nothing wrong with living in your comfort zone, but for me in order to live the best version of my life, I know with 100% certainty, it means stepping outside of my comfort zone. Continue reading

“Is it even possible?”

What if I’m not good enough?

What if they say no?

What if they don’t like me?

Do you ever STOP yourself before you’ve EVEN STARTED?

I sure did, but here’s what changed for me! I finally realized that I was MAKING UP ALL OF THE OUTCOMES to be negative. If I’m making the shit up anyways, why not choose something that actually adds value to me!

It became really clear WHY I avoided taking specific action. Why would I choose to do something I had already told myself I was going to fail at.  True for you too?

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