4 Tips to Stop Minimizing What You Have to Say

The topic of low self-confidence has been on my radar recently and its impact on our ability to reach our goals.

Projecting low self-confidence isn’t only reserved for those who have internal self-doubt.

What I am noticing is that low self-confidence is also being unintentionally projected even by those who feel more self-assured.

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The guilt trap

 

In most of the workshops I host, when professional women talk about their lives and the need to prioritize and make decisions, the word ‘guilt’ always comes up.   Especially when talking about trying to juggle everything that’s important to us.

What’s incredible is the power that guilt can have over someone.

Guilt comes in all shapes and sizes.  Guilt of working too hard, not spending enough time at home, not spending enough time with their partners or parents, doing too little for family, for school, and on and on….

I get it.  I too feel guilty sometimes.

Luckily, I now know guilt is a choice and that it doesn’t help me, it just traps me.

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Internalizing Feedback – 3 Tips to Stop

Over the past few weeks I have been facilitating many workshops for TD Bank’s female entrepreneurial clients. Guiding these women through a strategic goal setting approach to help them get really clear about what is important to them at work and in life, and then creating a plan to make them happen… while expanding their networks with like-minded women. I love this work!

The workshop is designed to give the participants a lot of opportunities to share experiences, think strategically, plan and connect.

The energy in the room is vibrant, there’s lots of talking and as participants leave, I hear wonderful feedback.

Then there are the feedback forms.

As I was about to go through forms from the first workshop I literally found myself holding my breath before looking at the sheets.

For some reason I was nervous.

Nervous about uncovering someone didn’t derive tremendous value for the time they invested or didn’t have the same experience that I had intended for them or that they didn’t like my facilitation style, etc…

Nervous I was going to hear something negative.

Luckily I now know ways to get over myself and wanted to share 3 Tips so you can too:

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Trading perfection for results

An unsolicited email from a few days ago fueled this post.

Imagine how different life would feel if we stopped taxing ourselves with a need to be perfect? To be superhuman.

Living this way is exhausting and debilitating, and doesn’t lead to much joy.

Intellectually we ‘know’ that nobody is perfect, so why are we afraid to admit it and are often embarrassed by it?

The email I received highlighted the negative perception too many of us carry around about not having “it all together”.

The email was from a professional woman who wanted to get promoted and knew that she needed to work on a few things.

What was disheartening was that her ‘ask’ came with a veil of silence.

Her choice perspective about asking for help was seen as a weakness.

I believe the opposite is true.

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