3 Leadership Lessons from Yoga

After almost a decade hiatus from yoga I decided to try again six months ago – but quit after one class because I got hurt.

I allowed my competitive, “try your best”, self to take over…and yoga won.

Since then I have turned 40 and my body is screaming at me to do something differently, so I decided to check my ego at the door and try again.

The class was SO HARD.

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6 Leadership Lessons from Running

Today I wanted to quit.

I didn’t say anything out loud to my friend and running partner, but I was struggling to keep up and labouring.

After we parted ways, I stopped to catch my breath and as I walked the block back home I realized how many parallels there are between running, work and life.

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Are you tired and uninspired?

The warmer weather helps, but our feelings are not just a product of the long and cold winter.

It’s actually what we are not doing that leaves us feeling this way.

It’s the fact that we keep going, going and going, doing, doing and doing, rarely taking the time to refuel, if at all.

This is what we do as working women.  Our plates are full and we just need to keep going.

We chalk it up as our reality and it often feels like not much can or will ever change.

We feel…..

Tired and Uninspired

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3 Ways to Own your Value and Self-Promote

The other day I was on a call with a client who was trying to figure out how to make sure the right people were aware of the value she brings.

She needed to self-promote.

When you think of self-promoting what words come to mind?

Cheesy, inauthentic, awkward, cheap, uncomfortable, pushy, etc…. 

If I haven’t said yours, fill in the blank here…….

Unfortunately self-promoting is something that so many of us shy away from because it feels uncomfortable.

The reality is self-promoting is something we all need to do, unless status quo is what you are going for.

No matter what your title may be, we have to sell ourselves because there are so many others doing exactly what we do.

Similar in titles and years of experience, but NOT why and how we do it.

If you don’t self-promote, you are choosing to swim amongst the sea of fish, vs stand out so you can be seen. Valued.

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3 Ways to Own Your Value and Self-Promote:

1.     The YOU Factor         

What do you want to own that truly set you apart and makes you YOU?

What experiences in your life do you want to acknowledge that you draw on or are transferable, relevant and add value to the outcomes you create?

Trust that your YOU factor doesn’t have to be shared with anyone else. It just has to be owned, acknowledged and valued by you.

Your YOU factor is about acknowledging and drawing from other aspects of your life that impact the way you work, the why and how you go about doing what you do.  It’s what differentiates you amongst the sea of fish.

It’s what sets you apart from the rest. 

It’s the YOU Factor that’s creates your unique value.

It’s the same for you as a CA, CFA, marketer, consultant, publicist, sales person, whatever your title may be.

The landscape is littered with executive coaches.  I am technically a dime a dozen amongst those who have graduated from the same certification program, have been practicing for the same number of years or more.  If I were to hang my hat up on my title or my years of experience you wouldn’t be reading this post.

2.     It Doesn’t Serve To Play Small  

Marianne Williamson says it best “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?  …”   You can read the rest of the quote at the bottom THIS page.

Who are you to play small?  Owning your value has nothing to do with ego.

3.    Celebrate and Let Them Know

The reality is that we don’t have people shadowing our every move, patting us on the back and celebrating who we are and what we are doing.

It’s for this reason that you need to stop, acknowledge and celebrate your own successes big or small.

The second step is to ask yourself “…and WHO needs to know?” 

Don’t just assume that people are paying attention. It’s your responsibility to put your accomplishment and the value you bring on their radar.

Which point resonates the most with you and why?  We’d love to hear.

 

If these resonate but you still feel uncertain about self-promoting, or anything else you are avoiding for that matter, you won’t want to miss my upcoming FREE CALL that is going to show you exactly how to do what you are avoiding.  Click HERE.

If you’ve liked what you’ve read, be sure to register to receive my weekly tips and tools to help you #GetOutOfYourOwnWay directly to your inbox in the top right hand corner of this site.

Do you feel like you are drowning?

So why don’t you matter?

This isn’t a comfortable question, but seriously.

There is an epidemic of women who put themselves last so that others can thrive.

This status quo is absolutely at our own expense. 

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Vulnerability Isn’t a Weakness

I used to think that ‘being vulnerable’ had a negative connotation.

For someone like me who had lived my entire life with a huge fear of failure, this word was so unappealing. I had a desire for people to see me as strong and competent, and vulnerability was a sign of weakness.

I was wrong.

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3 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Every six months I connect with a girlfriend who does similar work to me.  I value her as person, her perspectives and her experiences.

We last met in early January and talked mostly about the year to come.  Our projects, goals, anticipated revenues and last year’s as well.

As soon as she talked about money, I was hit with a wave of embarrassment. 

Over the next minute or so I have no idea what she said to me, I wasn’t listening.

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My Unexpected Lessons from Jay-Z

Jay-Z has inspired me.

This past weekend I started reading his book Decoded after Vishen Lakhiani, a thought leader I respect, Tweeted the recommendation.

Ironically, it’s been lying on my husband’s bed side table for months.  At some point I had even flipped through but came to the conclusion it wasn’t for me.

I was wrong.

It was exactly what I needed to read.

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My 5 Leadership Lessons from Boxing

I love to box.

I started in University 19 years ago and I was training to get in the ring.  There was only one problem, I had no desire to punch another human being in the face. I chalk this up to being one of three girls and my eldest sister wouldn’t even let my leg touch hers in the car.

I loved the intensity of the training though, so I continued outside of the ring.

I ended up training in Halifax for a few years and then stopped until last year when I started again at Center Ring with some amazing trainers. I only go once a week but this past week’s experience prompted this post.

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Looking back, MY 5 LESSONS started at the very beginning.

1.    STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.

I never would have assumed that something amazing would come out of a dingy boxing gym in the basement of a church in Halifax.  That two men from my gym would introduce me to my husband.  (Total tangent: The best part of the ‘how we met’ story, is that I only spoke to the three of them for a few minutes but when I walked away, my husband told his friends “That’s the girl I’m going to marry….” and 19 year later here we are.)

YOU?  What assumptions are you making that are limiting you? 

Own it and stop it, because you never know. I may never have met Scott had I not been willing to try something new either.

2.  GET INSPIRED.

On my way to the gym that day, I was listening to an interview with a musician who eight months ago had been interviewed by the same person, at a very small and obscure club. Fast forward eight months and tickets to see him were selling for $1,800.  Listening to his story was so inspiring because who knows what can or will change if you continue to move forward, purposefully.

YOU? If you aren’t feeling inspired, it’s up to you to change in the moment.  Here are a few of my favourites:  audiobooks, books, videos, TED Talks, going for a coffee with someone who inspires me, etc….

3. YOU ARE A LEADER, despite how qualified you think you are.

After an hour of hitting the heavy bag, the woman beside me came over and said “I am so glad I was beside you. I was following you. You inspired me to work harder.”   I was reminded that we have no idea who is looking to or at us. No matter what our title is, how many years of experience we’ve had or how good we think we are or are not, we are all leadersWe have no idea who we are inspiring. 

YOU? If you can’t own this fact, Robin Sharma wrote a great book  titled The Leader Who Had No Title

4. YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR LIMITS.

I was just about to give up, I was exhausted, but decided to see if I could go further…and I could. It’s up to us to push past our Self Imposed Limits.  

YOU? Here’s a challenge, no matter what you are doing this week, whenever you are at the point of giving up, challenge yourself to take inspired action to push past what you think is possible and you’ll be amazed.

5. SHUT DOWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.

I was having my hands wrapped before class and in conversation our trainer mentioned that he doubted 26 people would come today. That’s our class max. Guess what, 26 came.  It adds no value to have limiting thoughts.  Why bother spending the time and energy on what we don’t want to happen.

YOU? What would happen if over the next week, you were really mindful about what you are thinking and saying.  Stop saying the: “I doubt…”, “It will never happen..”, “I can’t….”, “It’s not possible…”

Which one of these 5 lessons resonates the most? 

Here’s an opportunity:  Focus on that one point for the balance of the week. See what changes for you. 

Trust that we’d all love to hear from you. Share here, on our FB or tweet using #GOOYOW.

The irony is that I get responses emailed to me all of the time, which I love, but I know others would benefit from hearing you too. …You can win a FREE 60 min Executive Coaching Session, to help you create the change you want at work or in life, simply by posting your response in either Facebook or on Twitter.

Please use #GOOYOW so I can enter you into the contest.

Victoria is an expert at helping women Get Out of Their Own Way.  If you’d like to receive free and weekly Tips and Tools to do just that, be sure to register to receive them directly to your inbox HERE.   (Registration: Top Right Corner)

Limiting Beliefs – 3 Tips for Shutting them Down

Every day I am amazed by the number of incredible, competent, intelligent and driven women who share with me the fact that they question themselves.

Can you relate? 

Do you ever find yourself:

Second guessing if you are good enough?

Worrying that somebody is going to discover your dirty little secret? …. You didn’t go to University? ….You didn’t do very well there? Etc….

Worried that someone is going to realize you aren’t as smart as they thought you were?

Fearful that you won’t live up to people’s expectations?

And the list goes on and on…..

MY BELIEF:  We choose our thoughts.  There’s only space for ONE thought at a time, so choose a thought that adds value to you! I am going to share 3 tips that you can use to help choose productively.

P.S. You have most likely been practicing your self-defeating thoughts subconsciously your entire life, I sure did.  Shutting them down is going to feel unnatural, challenging, etc… Changing habits takes work, but if you don’t work at it, nothing will ever change! 

 

TIP 1.  TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR THOUGHTS. THEY ARE PROBABLY COSTING YOU.

Your limiting thoughts are undoubtedly stopping you from taking action at work or in your personal life.  They often keep us in our Comfort Zone, not wanting or willing to get uncomfortable.  This comes at a cost. 

One way to move past the thought is by stopping to think about what will work or life be like, one year from now if nothing changes

Your answer probably highlights the fact that it’s WORTH getting uncomfortable and stretching outside of your Comfort Zone.  If you don’t, the cost would be too high.

For example, I have a client who wanted to be in a leadership role within her company.  Her negative thoughts were keeping her from requesting the meeting to discuss her career.  When asked how she will feel one year from now if nothing changes, she realized a lot was at stake! Her awareness and necessity became a HUGE catalyst for taking action.

The details around her didn’t change, it was just how she chose to see them.  By taking the time to acknowledge and own that her limiting thoughts were standing between her and the position, she knew it was worth getting uncomfortable, because there was so much to lose if she didn’t.

You Can Ask Yourself:  

  1. What action is your thought stopping you from taking?
  2. What’s the impact of not taking this action? 
  3. One year from now, if nothing changes how will you feel?

TIP 2. SHARE – this may feel counter intuitive for successful women.

Talk about it. No kidding!  When I facilitate Lean In Circles, or run my Programs and Workshops, I watch big shifts happening simply when women talk and sharing their experiences.   The impact is incredible when women realize that they are not alone. Trusting that they don’t have to pretend to be super women or perfect.  What I have realized is that there’s so much value in being authentic, being just who you truly are.

You’ll find that if you are transparent and honest, people will be drawn to this, versus sitting in judgment. I dare you to try. Schedule a coffee with a colleague or friend and share where you are at, where you want to go…and what’s standing in your way.

TIP 3. OWN YOUR TRUTH?

If you are like the women I work with, you have been told quite frequently that you are great. That you are good at what you do, an asset to the team, run a great business, etc…  But even if you haven’t been receiving the compliments…….this still applies to you too.

Nothing will change for you unless you own and trust in yourself.  Taking the time to really acknowledge your truth. The value you bring to your team, your company, your family, etc….  if you don’t believe in yourself, why should others?

Trust me, the outcome of a pitch, meeting or conversation is very different if you go in trusting in yourself, vs if you go in second guessing yourself. 

Here are 3 steps:

1. Take a moment right now and write down your Truth. What are your strengths? What value do you bring to your team, to your company? What makes you good at what you do? 

(If you can’t think of any…then you really need to connect with me by visiting www.tunercoaching.com and registering for a FREE Strategy Session.  If you are feeling this way, your team, clients, boss….whoever…. are picking up on it and the perceived value you are bringing to them is being questioned.)

2. Ask yourself, how are you benefitting from minimizing or negating your truth?

3. You most likely aren’t. With this awareness, choose to change your thoughts, by trusting and owning your value, in one situation at a time.

Maybe you have other tips? We’d love to hear what you did!