Feeling Guilty is a Choice

I just finished a roadshow that had me away for 9 days.

My husband was hoping I’d come home from Calgary on the Friday for the weekend then back out for a Tuesday workshop.

With 3 kids 9 and under he thought this sounded reasonable.

I decided not to come home. 

FeelingGuilty

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Are You Being Misinterpreted?

Do you worry about being perceived in a negative way?

It’s often this fear that keeps my clients and other women from doing what they know they need to.

Avoiding self-promotion or asking for one because they don’t want to appear arrogant, demanding, entitled, etc…

Not wanting to follow up with a client because they don’t want to be interpreted as desperate, needy, pushy, etc….

Not wanting to have a challenging conversation because they don’t want to appear confrontational, demanding, etc…

These are all possible and potential outcomes. 

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3 Habits that Will Limit Your Career and What You Can Do to Change

I was speaking with a client the other day who had lead her entire life with a deep desire and drive to prove herself, which she did time after time.  She strove for perfection and her track record was amazing.  She was a ‘go-to’ person. Everyone knew she’d get it done and well.

Despite her successes, accomplishments and promotions, she lacked a true belief in herself, which drove her need to please and prove.

She’s not alone. 

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Do you really want to act that way?

This past weekend the topic of being short tempered and impatient came up a few times.  At work, towards the people we love the most, there were no limitations.

We all do it.  We are human.

I used to have a bad temper.  My buttons easily pushed by those closest to me.

My excuse, “It’s just the way I am, I can’t help it”.

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Are you tired and uninspired?

The warmer weather helps, but our feelings are not just a product of the long and cold winter.

It’s actually what we are not doing that leaves us feeling this way.

It’s the fact that we keep going, going and going, doing, doing and doing, rarely taking the time to refuel, if at all.

This is what we do as working women.  Our plates are full and we just need to keep going.

We chalk it up as our reality and it often feels like not much can or will ever change.

We feel…..

Tired and Uninspired

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3 Ways to Own your Value and Self-Promote

The other day I was on a call with a client who was trying to figure out how to make sure the right people were aware of the value she brings.

She needed to self-promote.

When you think of self-promoting what words come to mind?

Cheesy, inauthentic, awkward, cheap, uncomfortable, pushy, etc…. 

If I haven’t said yours, fill in the blank here…….

Unfortunately self-promoting is something that so many of us shy away from because it feels uncomfortable.

The reality is self-promoting is something we all need to do, unless status quo is what you are going for.

No matter what your title may be, we have to sell ourselves because there are so many others doing exactly what we do.

Similar in titles and years of experience, but NOT why and how we do it.

If you don’t self-promote, you are choosing to swim amongst the sea of fish, vs stand out so you can be seen. Valued.

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3 Ways to Own Your Value and Self-Promote:

1.     The YOU Factor         

What do you want to own that truly set you apart and makes you YOU?

What experiences in your life do you want to acknowledge that you draw on or are transferable, relevant and add value to the outcomes you create?

Trust that your YOU factor doesn’t have to be shared with anyone else. It just has to be owned, acknowledged and valued by you.

Your YOU factor is about acknowledging and drawing from other aspects of your life that impact the way you work, the why and how you go about doing what you do.  It’s what differentiates you amongst the sea of fish.

It’s what sets you apart from the rest. 

It’s the YOU Factor that’s creates your unique value.

It’s the same for you as a CA, CFA, marketer, consultant, publicist, sales person, whatever your title may be.

The landscape is littered with executive coaches.  I am technically a dime a dozen amongst those who have graduated from the same certification program, have been practicing for the same number of years or more.  If I were to hang my hat up on my title or my years of experience you wouldn’t be reading this post.

2.     It Doesn’t Serve To Play Small  

Marianne Williamson says it best “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?  …”   You can read the rest of the quote at the bottom THIS page.

Who are you to play small?  Owning your value has nothing to do with ego.

3.    Celebrate and Let Them Know

The reality is that we don’t have people shadowing our every move, patting us on the back and celebrating who we are and what we are doing.

It’s for this reason that you need to stop, acknowledge and celebrate your own successes big or small.

The second step is to ask yourself “…and WHO needs to know?” 

Don’t just assume that people are paying attention. It’s your responsibility to put your accomplishment and the value you bring on their radar.

Which point resonates the most with you and why?  We’d love to hear.

 

If these resonate but you still feel uncertain about self-promoting, or anything else you are avoiding for that matter, you won’t want to miss my upcoming FREE CALL that is going to show you exactly how to do what you are avoiding.  Click HERE.

If you’ve liked what you’ve read, be sure to register to receive my weekly tips and tools to help you #GetOutOfYourOwnWay directly to your inbox in the top right hand corner of this site.

3 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Every six months I connect with a girlfriend who does similar work to me.  I value her as person, her perspectives and her experiences.

We last met in early January and talked mostly about the year to come.  Our projects, goals, anticipated revenues and last year’s as well.

As soon as she talked about money, I was hit with a wave of embarrassment. 

Over the next minute or so I have no idea what she said to me, I wasn’t listening.

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My 5 Leadership Lessons from Boxing

I love to box.

I started in University 19 years ago and I was training to get in the ring.  There was only one problem, I had no desire to punch another human being in the face. I chalk this up to being one of three girls and my eldest sister wouldn’t even let my leg touch hers in the car.

I loved the intensity of the training though, so I continued outside of the ring.

I ended up training in Halifax for a few years and then stopped until last year when I started again at Center Ring with some amazing trainers. I only go once a week but this past week’s experience prompted this post.

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Looking back, MY 5 LESSONS started at the very beginning.

1.    STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.

I never would have assumed that something amazing would come out of a dingy boxing gym in the basement of a church in Halifax.  That two men from my gym would introduce me to my husband.  (Total tangent: The best part of the ‘how we met’ story, is that I only spoke to the three of them for a few minutes but when I walked away, my husband told his friends “That’s the girl I’m going to marry….” and 19 year later here we are.)

YOU?  What assumptions are you making that are limiting you? 

Own it and stop it, because you never know. I may never have met Scott had I not been willing to try something new either.

2.  GET INSPIRED.

On my way to the gym that day, I was listening to an interview with a musician who eight months ago had been interviewed by the same person, at a very small and obscure club. Fast forward eight months and tickets to see him were selling for $1,800.  Listening to his story was so inspiring because who knows what can or will change if you continue to move forward, purposefully.

YOU? If you aren’t feeling inspired, it’s up to you to change in the moment.  Here are a few of my favourites:  audiobooks, books, videos, TED Talks, going for a coffee with someone who inspires me, etc….

3. YOU ARE A LEADER, despite how qualified you think you are.

After an hour of hitting the heavy bag, the woman beside me came over and said “I am so glad I was beside you. I was following you. You inspired me to work harder.”   I was reminded that we have no idea who is looking to or at us. No matter what our title is, how many years of experience we’ve had or how good we think we are or are not, we are all leadersWe have no idea who we are inspiring. 

YOU? If you can’t own this fact, Robin Sharma wrote a great book  titled The Leader Who Had No Title

4. YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR LIMITS.

I was just about to give up, I was exhausted, but decided to see if I could go further…and I could. It’s up to us to push past our Self Imposed Limits.  

YOU? Here’s a challenge, no matter what you are doing this week, whenever you are at the point of giving up, challenge yourself to take inspired action to push past what you think is possible and you’ll be amazed.

5. SHUT DOWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.

I was having my hands wrapped before class and in conversation our trainer mentioned that he doubted 26 people would come today. That’s our class max. Guess what, 26 came.  It adds no value to have limiting thoughts.  Why bother spending the time and energy on what we don’t want to happen.

YOU? What would happen if over the next week, you were really mindful about what you are thinking and saying.  Stop saying the: “I doubt…”, “It will never happen..”, “I can’t….”, “It’s not possible…”

Which one of these 5 lessons resonates the most? 

Here’s an opportunity:  Focus on that one point for the balance of the week. See what changes for you. 

Trust that we’d all love to hear from you. Share here, on our FB or tweet using #GOOYOW.

The irony is that I get responses emailed to me all of the time, which I love, but I know others would benefit from hearing you too. …You can win a FREE 60 min Executive Coaching Session, to help you create the change you want at work or in life, simply by posting your response in either Facebook or on Twitter.

Please use #GOOYOW so I can enter you into the contest.

Victoria is an expert at helping women Get Out of Their Own Way.  If you’d like to receive free and weekly Tips and Tools to do just that, be sure to register to receive them directly to your inbox HERE.   (Registration: Top Right Corner)

Success: 5 Secrets to Creating Your Own From A Recovered Perfectionist

I spent most of my life trying to figure everything out alone.  I had such an unwillingness to ask for help. To allow others to see that I didn’t know what I was doing, or that I wasn’t smart or resourceful enough to figure it out alone. 

One of the most challenging times that I remember was when I had an infant and a two year old, was trying to run my home, be a present mother and wife while building www.pippalily.com and www.simplyonboard.com from my home office…that had no door to shut.

No fun.

I wasn’t doing anything well, despite the incredible amount of time and energy I spent doing everything.

Success.5Tips

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3 Ways to Make Your Everyday Count

I used to get frustrated when the end of the week would roll around and I still hadn’t done what I said I wanted to do.  Even with the best of intentions, I just got too busy.

One week would flow into the next and nothing would have changed.

Life got in the way.

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