3 Questions to Remember the Value of Slowing Down

As ambitious women, with full plates, so often we are goal centric.

Becoming hyper focused on our goals and delaying our happiness until the outcomes are achieved and/or missing out on so many other things transpiring around us while we push forward.

Ironically by doing this I bet that either one or both are impacting what’s most important to you.

GoingWithTheFlow

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3 Questions to Shut Down Your Negative “What ifs”

I was recently speaking with a client who reminded me of how debilitating “What if” can be.

The anticipated negative outcomes that we spend too much time thinking about and that lead to inaction.  

Thoughts like:

What if they don’t like it….

What if I fail…

What if I don’t land the client…

It makes sense.

None of these ‘what ifs’ are remotely appealing so why would we even bother to take any action when the anticipated outcome is so negative.

WhatIf

The truth is the outcomes are unknown and we have NO idea…

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10 Things I Wish I Knew Then That I Know Now

Life would have been so different had I known then what I know now.

Not from the work and life experiences I’ve gained over my time on earth, but how I would have navigated the thoughts in my mind.

Growing up I was consumed by what people thought of me.

I truly felt that everyone was judging me. That people were always watching me critically at school, in sports, at work and even socially.

I was always concerned about people figuring out that I wasn’t as smart, kind or as good of an athlete as they thought I was.

I know that I’m not the only person who felt this way.

YoungerSelf2

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Are You Being Misinterpreted?

Do you worry about being perceived in a negative way?

It’s often this fear that keeps my clients and other women from doing what they know they need to.

Avoiding self-promotion or asking for one because they don’t want to appear arrogant, demanding, entitled, etc…

Not wanting to follow up with a client because they don’t want to be interpreted as desperate, needy, pushy, etc….

Not wanting to have a challenging conversation because they don’t want to appear confrontational, demanding, etc…

These are all possible and potential outcomes. 

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Do you really want to act that way?

This past weekend the topic of being short tempered and impatient came up a few times.  At work, towards the people we love the most, there were no limitations.

We all do it.  We are human.

I used to have a bad temper.  My buttons easily pushed by those closest to me.

My excuse, “It’s just the way I am, I can’t help it”.

BreakHabits

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My 5 Leadership Lessons from Boxing

I love to box.

I started in University 19 years ago and I was training to get in the ring.  There was only one problem, I had no desire to punch another human being in the face. I chalk this up to being one of three girls and my eldest sister wouldn’t even let my leg touch hers in the car.

I loved the intensity of the training though, so I continued outside of the ring.

I ended up training in Halifax for a few years and then stopped until last year when I started again at Center Ring with some amazing trainers. I only go once a week but this past week’s experience prompted this post.

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Looking back, MY 5 LESSONS started at the very beginning.

1.    STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.

I never would have assumed that something amazing would come out of a dingy boxing gym in the basement of a church in Halifax.  That two men from my gym would introduce me to my husband.  (Total tangent: The best part of the ‘how we met’ story, is that I only spoke to the three of them for a few minutes but when I walked away, my husband told his friends “That’s the girl I’m going to marry….” and 19 year later here we are.)

YOU?  What assumptions are you making that are limiting you? 

Own it and stop it, because you never know. I may never have met Scott had I not been willing to try something new either.

2.  GET INSPIRED.

On my way to the gym that day, I was listening to an interview with a musician who eight months ago had been interviewed by the same person, at a very small and obscure club. Fast forward eight months and tickets to see him were selling for $1,800.  Listening to his story was so inspiring because who knows what can or will change if you continue to move forward, purposefully.

YOU? If you aren’t feeling inspired, it’s up to you to change in the moment.  Here are a few of my favourites:  audiobooks, books, videos, TED Talks, going for a coffee with someone who inspires me, etc….

3. YOU ARE A LEADER, despite how qualified you think you are.

After an hour of hitting the heavy bag, the woman beside me came over and said “I am so glad I was beside you. I was following you. You inspired me to work harder.”   I was reminded that we have no idea who is looking to or at us. No matter what our title is, how many years of experience we’ve had or how good we think we are or are not, we are all leadersWe have no idea who we are inspiring. 

YOU? If you can’t own this fact, Robin Sharma wrote a great book  titled The Leader Who Had No Title

4. YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR LIMITS.

I was just about to give up, I was exhausted, but decided to see if I could go further…and I could. It’s up to us to push past our Self Imposed Limits.  

YOU? Here’s a challenge, no matter what you are doing this week, whenever you are at the point of giving up, challenge yourself to take inspired action to push past what you think is possible and you’ll be amazed.

5. SHUT DOWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.

I was having my hands wrapped before class and in conversation our trainer mentioned that he doubted 26 people would come today. That’s our class max. Guess what, 26 came.  It adds no value to have limiting thoughts.  Why bother spending the time and energy on what we don’t want to happen.

YOU? What would happen if over the next week, you were really mindful about what you are thinking and saying.  Stop saying the: “I doubt…”, “It will never happen..”, “I can’t….”, “It’s not possible…”

Which one of these 5 lessons resonates the most? 

Here’s an opportunity:  Focus on that one point for the balance of the week. See what changes for you. 

Trust that we’d all love to hear from you. Share here, on our FB or tweet using #GOOYOW.

The irony is that I get responses emailed to me all of the time, which I love, but I know others would benefit from hearing you too. …You can win a FREE 60 min Executive Coaching Session, to help you create the change you want at work or in life, simply by posting your response in either Facebook or on Twitter.

Please use #GOOYOW so I can enter you into the contest.

Victoria is an expert at helping women Get Out of Their Own Way.  If you’d like to receive free and weekly Tips and Tools to do just that, be sure to register to receive them directly to your inbox HERE.   (Registration: Top Right Corner)

3 Ways to Make Your Everyday Count

I used to get frustrated when the end of the week would roll around and I still hadn’t done what I said I wanted to do.  Even with the best of intentions, I just got too busy.

One week would flow into the next and nothing would have changed.

Life got in the way.

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Create A “Not Doing” List

This time of year I feel a lot of pressure on my time.

I know I’m not alone based on yesterday’s Globe and Mail article by Adriana Braton called The 70% Solution.

It’s a crazy time of year. 

We are living our already full regular day-to-day lives then loading on the holiday traditions, commitments, responsibilities, etc….: decorating, hanging lights, parties, gingerbread houses, planning for, buying and mailing presents…….

Do you have more to add? 

 

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Revealing Your Flaws: 3 Reasons Why You Should

I was recently welcomed into a group of great women at KPMG in Toronto. I was there to give my talk titled “Getting Out of Your Own Way: How to take confident action, outside of your comfort zone, for exceptional results.”

Every time I host the session what amazes me is what happens when the women in my audience choose to let their armour down and get real.

By being real, I mean a willingness to be truthful. To share not only their good experiences.

Acknowledging that they haven’t figured everything out. That they aren’t perfect.

BeYourself.Everyonealreadytaken.

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Knowing When to Say Yes and When to Say No!

I am back much later than I said I would be and here’s why.

Can you relate to having full plates, wearing a tone of hats and knowing that you can’t possibly do it all?

That was me post summer when I returned from holiday.   I knew I needed to sit down and become REALLY clear on what it was that I wanted to achieve in life and work, so that I knew what I needed to focus on during my day.  Taking the time to clearly see where I wanted to be in September 2014 allowed me to know what I could say NO to, and what I could say YES to those actions that would truly have an impact on achieve my goals.  I call them True Priorities vs Busy Priorities. 

 

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