So often we hold ourselves back from taking action, that’s outside of our comfort zone, because of fear.
Paralyzed by a NHO “Negative Hypothetical Outcome” that of course we want to avoid.
But truthfully, we have no idea what the outcome will be until we try, yet we are committed to the fact that it’s going to be negative.
So….let’s go there…
I was recently speaking with a client who reminded me of how debilitating “What if” can be.
The anticipated negative outcomes that we spend too much time thinking about and that lead to inaction.
What if they don’t like it….
What if I fail…
What if I don’t land the client…
It makes sense.
None of these ‘what ifs’ are remotely appealing so why would we even bother to take any action when the anticipated outcome is so negative.
The truth is the outcomes are unknown and we have NO idea…
I recently went through a low period.
We all do. We are all human.
I had just come off of my high after completing a road show, hosting workshops for female entrepreneurs in cities across western Canada. When I came back, I was accessing my landscape and felt defeated and frustrated by a few things.
The details are irrelevant because what brings me down will be different from you, but I know that you too experience struggle.
The point is, we all experience setbacks. Trying times.
I don’t like the word balance.
I feel that it sets us up for disappointment, and feelings of failure, inadequacy and overwhelm.
In the search for “balance” we often end up simply adding more balls to the ones we are already struggling to juggle.
Spending our everyday just passing ball after ball through the air on autopilot.
I just finished a roadshow that had me away for 9 days.
My husband was hoping I’d come home from Calgary on the Friday for the weekend then back out for a Tuesday workshop.
With 3 kids 9 and under he thought this sounded reasonable.
I decided not to come home.
I recently had a conversation with an awesome, confident, ambitious, strategic and hard working woman. She is a ‘go to’ person that everyone knows will get the job done.
She’s constantly accessing the landscape between where she is, where she wants to go and what she can do to make it happen.
She says yes to stretch opportunities.
She’s unafraid of taking action that’s outside of her comfort zone.
She’s always leaning in.
She needs to start leaning out.
I was speaking with a client the other day who had lead her entire life with a deep desire and drive to prove herself, which she did time after time. She strove for perfection and her track record was amazing. She was a ‘go-to’ person. Everyone knew she’d get it done and well.
Despite her successes, accomplishments and promotions, she lacked a true belief in herself, which drove her need to please and prove.
She’s not alone.
This past weekend the topic of being short tempered and impatient came up a few times. At work, towards the people we love the most, there were no limitations.
We all do it. We are human.
I used to have a bad temper. My buttons easily pushed by those closest to me.
My excuse, “It’s just the way I am, I can’t help it”.
Jay-Z has inspired me.
This past weekend I started reading his book Decoded after Vishen Lakhiani, a thought leader I respect, Tweeted the recommendation.
Ironically, it’s been lying on my husband’s bed side table for months. At some point I had even flipped through but came to the conclusion it wasn’t for me.
I was wrong.
It was exactly what I needed to read.
I spent most of my life trying to figure everything out alone. I had such an unwillingness to ask for help. To allow others to see that I didn’t know what I was doing, or that I wasn’t smart or resourceful enough to figure it out alone.
One of the most challenging times that I remember was when I had an infant and a two year old, was trying to run my home, be a present mother and wife while building www.pippalily.com and www.simplyonboard.com from my home office…that had no door to shut.
I wasn’t doing anything well, despite the incredible amount of time and energy I spent doing everything.