3 Steps to Shut Down the Stories that Are Limiting Your Career

Amongst the network of women I work and play with, I am constantly reminded of how often we miss out on opportunities because of the negative stories we are telling ourselves.Fear.StoriesTellOurselves

Do any of these sound familiar?

I don’t want to ask my question because I don’t want to sound dumb.

I can’t follow up with her or ask for the business because I don’t want to seem desperate.

I can’t say anything to my colleague because I don’t want him to take it the wrong way.

I don’t want to lead that team because I may not have all of the answers.

If these don’t resonate, here’s a chance to acknowledge your own sentence:

I don’t want to…………….. because……………………..

In all of these scenarios we are assuming that our outcomes are going to be negative.

The irony is that the outcomes are UNKNOWN. We don’t actually know what’s going to happen, but are willing to limit ourselves before we’ve even tried.

When I find myself in this situation, I remind myself that for every negative hypothetical outcome I am making up, there’s always another way to slice it.

What are you not doing because of a negative story you are telling yourself? What action are you not taking because of  hypothetical outcome you are avoiding?

Here are 3 Questions to ask yourself so you can start leveraging your opportunities to thrive.

#1: What’s the limiting story you are telling yourself. (If I do “X”, then “Y” will happen.)

#2: What’s a positive hypothetical outcome?

#3: What’s the impact if you don’t take this action?

I believe that we are the biggest obstacles standing in our own way of success.

The stories we tell ourselves play a huge part in this. When you find yourself committed to a negative hypothetical outcome, remember that you are choosing to limit yourself and your career.

Revealing Your Flaws: 3 Reasons Why You Should

I was recently welcomed into a group of great women at KPMG in Toronto. I was there to give my talk titled “Getting Out of Your Own Way: How to take confident action, outside of your comfort zone, for exceptional results.”

Every time I host the session what amazes me is what happens when the women in my audience choose to let their armour down and get real.

By being real, I mean a willingness to be truthful. To share not only their good experiences.

Acknowledging that they haven’t figured everything out. That they aren’t perfect.

BeYourself.Everyonealreadytaken.

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3 Steps to A New Beginning

September feels like a new beginning. I know I am not alone.

Between my friends and clients it is amazing how many have shared the same.

Sometimes our new beginnings are FORCED, like my client who was told she has to look for another job.

Other times, it’s a CHOICE, like for my friend who has chosen to quit the job she hated…
And then there’s everything in between from divorce to moving cities, etc.

For me, my new beginning stems from the fact that I chose to unplug and totally disconnect from work over the summer. There were so many benefits and I feel very grateful to have done it, however it does come at a cost.

My calendar feels less than stellar and it’s time for me to re-focus to make sure that one year from now, I don’t look back and feel that I’m still in the same spot.

Even if you don’t have a new beginning “happening”, you can Choose for September to be an intentional starting point.

Here are three things I am going to do and you can too:

#1 STOP AND GET CLEAR.
This is where we get clarity about what we want to transpire between now and 6, 10, 12 months from now, or whatever time frame works for you.

You can even start by asking yourself:

“What do I want more of?” and “What do I want less of?”

Then get SPECIFIC about your goals.
I find that with a plan, I feel like I am in the driver’s seat, vs having my wheels spinning and not making any traction.

#2 TAKE ACTION.
Enough said.
A tactic is to schedule your activity. Put your priorities into your calendar to make time for them.

#3 BE GRATEFUL
This summer I was introduced to a really simple concept that resonated with me.

The concept comes from a man who I had never heard of prior to watching his video. His name is Vishen Lakhiani of www.mindvalley.com. He shares how his business and life thrive and prosper when he’s in FLOW.

Which in concept is a balance between being:

GRATEFUL AND HAPPY FOR TODAY       AND       HAVING A CLEAR VISION OF WHERE YOU ARE GOING

I know that I often get stuck and focus on what I have yet to achieve or the gap between where I am vs where I want to be, or what I’m not doing.

I know it’s not helpful.

It impacts my ability to enjoy the moment and be happy for what I have created and have in my life.

I know that feeling happy propels me at work and in life to do better.
So, being in FLOW is my new Choice.

I invite you to follow these 3 steps and create your purposeful beginning too.

 

What are you tolerating?

After being away for 10 days and one long weekend, I’m refocusing.  One question that was asked of me while at a conference with a Mastermind program I am involved with, and mentored by Lisa Sasevich, was “What are you tolerating?”.

Tolerating in the sense of not doing anything to change your environment or situation.

I’m going to share mine…..

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“Get Over Yourself”…do you need to?

I sure did! I literally just closed my front door, turned around and said it out loud!

My blurt was instigated by the Jehovah’s Witnesses at my door.  Two lovely ladies knocked on my door very confidently and stood there sharing their messages with no reservations.

I shut the door and said out loud “Seriously Victoria, get over yourself”.

Their timing was beautiful! They were the exact reminder I needed to get me into action…the action I had been avoiding!

Here were two women obviously doing their life’s work, constantly putting themselves ‘out there’, for the purpose of serving others.  Here I was, sitting behind my computer, having so much to give, but choosing to remain silent and inactive.

I started to type this blog, then thought “where’s the credibility in here”.  I take pride in my ability to help women take confident action, outside of their comfort zones, to get results.  Here I was avoiding it.  I was totally aware that I was avoiding my call, but that seemed to be fine with me in the moment.

So, I did two things before I continued to type this.  I #1) pitched a conference to be a speaker #2) called a very well-known coach to pitch an idea on how we can work together…and he’s since responded;)

…and it feels SO much better just to do it! Stop thinking about it, and take action knowing you are now one step closer to reaching your goals.

What do you KNOW YOU NEED to do, that you’ve been avoiding…and want to commit to doing it this week?

Share here and then report back to celebrate!

I am also thrilled to host my first Power Hour Spreecast: Tues April 16th at 2 -3 p.m. (EST) where you are invited to join in the free conversation.  Come and share what specific action you keep avoiding, that you know you need to take, and I’ll bring my coaching toolkit to get you into action!  It’s FREE. Ladies, let’s get into action and generating the results you want!!

What’s a Spreecast? Spreecast is a FREE platform that connects people through video conversation.

Here’s the link:  http://www.spreecast.com/events/your-power-hour

I’d love to see you there…and please invite other business women who too are ready to get out of their own way to take action!