Every day I am amazed by the number of incredible, competent, intelligent and driven women who share with me the fact that they question themselves.
Do you ever find yourself:
Second guessing if you are good enough?
Worried that someone is going to realize you aren’t as smart as they thought you were?
Worrying that somebody is going to discover your dirty little secret?
Fearful that you won’t live up to people’s expectations?
And the list goes on and on…..
What I know is that we choose our thoughts and that these types of thoughts are not adding any value.
Trust that you have probably been practicing your self-defeating thoughts subconsciously your entire life, I sure did. Shutting them may feel unnatural, challenging, but changing habits takes work. If you don’t work at it, nothing will ever change.
Here are 3 Steps to help you change your limiting beliefs:
STEP 1. OWN YOUR THOUGHTS
Your limiting thoughts are undoubtedly stopping you from taking action at work or in your personal life. They often keep us in our Comfort Zone, not wanting or willing to get uncomfortable. This comes at a cost.
One way to change your self-defeating thoughts is to realize the impact of not changing them. What will it be like one year from now if nothing changes?
For example, I have a client who wanted to be in a leadership role within her company. Her negative thoughts were keeping her from requesting the meeting to discuss her career. When asked how she will feel one year from now if nothing changes, she realized a lot was at stake! Her awareness and necessity became a HUGE catalyst for taking action.
The details around her didn’t change, it was just how she chose to see them. By taking the time to acknowledge and own that her limiting thoughts were standing between her and the position, she knew it was worth getting uncomfortable, because there was so much to lose if she didn’t.
You Can Ask Yourself:
- What action is your thought stopping you from taking?
- What’s the impact of not taking this action?
- One year from now, if nothing changes how will you feel?
STEP 2. SHARE
Talk about it. When I facilitate groups of women in workshops and programs, I watch big shifts happening simply when women talk and sharing their experiences. The impact is incredible when women realize that they are not alone. Trusting that they don’t have to pretend to be super women or perfect. What I have realized is that there’s so much value in being authentic, being just who you truly are.
You’ll find that if you are transparent and honest, people will be drawn to this, versus sitting in judgment. I dare you to try. Schedule a coffee with a colleague or friend and share where you are at, where you want to go…and what’s standing in your way.
STEP 3. OWN YOUR TRUTH
Nothing will change for you unless you own and trust in yourself. Taking the time to really acknowledge your truth. The value you bring to your team, your company, your family, etc….
If you don’t believe in yourself, why should others?
The outcome of a pitch, meeting or conversation is very different if you go in trusting in yourself, vs if you go in second guessing yourself.
- Take a moment and write down your Truth. What are your strengths? What are you good at? What value do you bring to your team, to your company? What makes you good at what you do?
- Ask yourself, how are you benefitting from minimizing or negating your truth? You aren’t.
With this awareness, it’s up to you to choose to change your limiting thoughts, by trusting and owning your value, in one situation at a time.
Victoria is an expert at helping women Get Out of Their Own Way. If you like what you’ve read you can register to receive her free weekly Tips and Tools to do just that. Register in the Top Right Corner of this page.