Feeling Guilty is a Choice

I just finished a roadshow that had me away for 9 days.

My husband was hoping I’d come home from Calgary on the Friday for the weekend then back out for a Tuesday workshop.

With 3 kids 9 and under he thought this sounded reasonable.

I decided not to come home. 


I trusted that I would benefit more from a weekend away (let alone spending it with amazing old friends) than if I flew home, even if it was to see family.

I could have felt guilty, especially when my 9 year old daughter asked me….

“What’s more important your work or your family?”


In spite of my daughter’s comments I get to choose to feel guilty or not.

So, what do you feel guilty about? 

My belief is that spending time in guilt is totally unproductive.

This is an opportunity for you to replace feeling guilty with a new perspective, one that serves you.

Here are 4 Questions to Ask Yourself:

  1. What are you feeling guilty about?
  2. What do you stand to gain by stopping feeling guilty?
  3. What do you stand to lose by stopping feeling guilty?
  4. What can you trust about this situation that helps to bring you piece of mind?

Now…the choice is up to you.

It may not be easy, but it’s a choice.

Maybe your choice will be to stop the behaviour that’s causing your guilt.

Or maybe not.

For me, I chose not to feel guilty about staying away for 9 days because I trust that:

1- We matter.  We also have to factor in what’s best for us too.

This was an incredible opportunity for me to work hard and to visit with dear old friends and my extended family. My family is entitled to feel disappointed, sometimes life disappoints. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them, it just means I’m making a choice.

Maybe you would choose differently. There’s no right or wrong, it’s what’s best for you.

2- Perspective.  We can’t forget to factor it in.

For me, my thoughts were:

  • 9 days is a short time to be away in the grand scheme of things.
  • My kids and husband will benefit from experiencing life without my help and support.
  • I knew I’d gain so much from connecting with people I haven’t seen in a long time and having fun.

None of the details around you are going to change, it just how you choose to navigate them that will.

So, what’s your choice?

UPCOMING TORONTO WORKSHOP: I am also excited to let you know I am hosting a Toronto workshop for professional women May 19th, 5:30-7:30.

You can read more about it HERE

2 thoughts on “Feeling Guilty is a Choice

  1. So proud of you- expectations like that are 1. selfish, 2 unfair… and you exist and have a place in the world too. Glad you did what you did, and didn’t feel guilty 🙂

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