I spent most of my life trying to figure everything out alone. I had such an unwillingness to ask for help. To allow others to see that I didn’t know what I was doing, or that I wasn’t smart or resourceful enough to figure it out alone.
One of the most challenging times that I remember was when I had an infant and a two year old, was trying to run my home, be a present mother and wife while building www.pippalily.com and www.simplyonboard.com from my home office…that had no door to shut.
I wasn’t doing anything well, despite the incredible amount of time and energy I spent doing everything.
That time of my life will be forever etched in my mind thanks to an article in the Toronto Star with an accompanying picture of a haggard looking woman, with one baby in a sling and the other on my hip.
I have decided to use this image as my reminder of what I don’t want.
None of us can possibly create the success we want for ourselves alone.
My intervention was hosted by my family – both sides.
They stepped in to offer support, to give me some space to think and be human again. It was because of this that I realized there’s no downside in asking for help. Of course I could have continued the way I was, but I had so much to gain from admitting that I wasn’t super human.
That I needed help and it wasn’t a reflection of my shortcomings.
Since then, I have benefited tremendously from not only asking for help, but from connecting and leveraging other peoples experiences and knowledge.
Looking back at the last 10 years of my life as an entrepreneur, professional woman and mother of three, I wanted to share the 5 Tips that have had the most impact of my journey thus far, so that you too can Get Out of Your Own Way, or #GOOYOW as I like to say.
THE 5 TIPS YOU NEED TO KNOW TO CREATE YOUR OWN SUCCESS:
TIP 1. The details around you aren’t going to change, it’s how you choose to navigate them that will.
I can remember I had only just started my coaching certification program. I was invited by the Talent Management Team of a major Canadian bank to see how I could support their executives. My initial thoughts were “Who am I to go to this meeting. I don’t have 15 years of experience. I’m not even certified.”
Obviously this response wasn’t going to help me be of service to the bank’s employees or the growth of my business. I couldn’t change any of those details. But I could choose a new response which was to trust that: I’m being invited on my own merit, my work is speaking for itself and that I have value to offer.
It’s up to us to reframe and to find the new perspectives that will serve us, not stop us.
TIP 2: You don’t know what you don’t know.
I always hear my mother’s voice reminding me that “Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different outcome, is the definition of crazy”.
When I had sold Pippalily and first started www.turnercoaching.com, I knew I didn’t want to struggle. I didn’t get into coaching to work longer hours, to be impatient with my family and to make less money.
What I realized was that I needed to learn effective ways to grow my service based business because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I ended up listening to a virtual training call and realized that I needed to invest in myself and learn a new way of going about my business.
Learning doesn’t have to be transactional. I get so much from connecting with other people and being curious about how they navigate similar scenarios at work and at home, and being willing to share the same.
TIP 3: Get off of Autopilot
Autopilot means that we are assuming that our natural habits or responses are enough to help us achieve our goals.
This one was HUGE for me.
There are lots of invaluable tools and wisdom that were taught to me when I was younger, and lots that weren’t. My parents did their best, but some of the messages I interpreted or learnt from the past don’t serve me any longer.
They are my Autopilot responses that I realized I had to break. For example: “Don’t create waves.”, “It’s arrogant to speak positively about yourself”, “Talking about money isn’t appropriate.”
Being on Autopilot is like being in the passenger seat of our life. I knew I wanted to be in the driver’s seat.
Now it’s our choice to get really clear on what we are trying to achieve, then being willing to get rid of the old habits that don’t serve us anymore. Replace them with new habits that do.
TIP 4. Know where you are going!
It’s only recently that I have allowed myself to set goals. Prior to, I had avoided it like the plague because of my huge fear of not achieving them and therefore it meant I failed.
What I’ve since learnt is that I have so much to gain by being really clear about where I am going, so that I know what to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to along the way. We all have a limited time each day and filling it up with other people’s priorities isn’t helping us.
Without a clear idea of where you are going a week, month, year will go by and you may be no further ahead than where you started.
Not having goals is like taking a yearlong road trip, without a final destination. You’ll have invested a lot of time, energy and money, but you may not be any further ahead than where you started.
TIP 5: Power Hours
I know that to achieve results it require purposeful and consistent action.
Despite what you may think, it’s not just about doing more of the same thing.
It’s also about looking at all of the facets of our life that are important to us. Maybe for you it’s: Family, work, health, community, spirituality, adventure, etc…. The list is yours to create.
A tactic I use is scheduling Power Hours into my week.
For years I stopped prioritizing my health. When I stared to time block, commit to going for a run, I realized that it’s during thistime that I do my best ‘outside of the box’, strategic thinking. Had I not prioritized what’s important to me, to free up this time to think, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Giving back is huge for me as well. Just by taking the time to remind myself of this, it allowed me to raise my hand when the opportunity came to sit on the board of Circle21. I knew I could say yes to this opportunity because it fuels and serves what’s important to me.
Now what about you?
We’d love to hear from you.
Which of these tips resonated with you the most?
You can share it with our FB community. It’s also a great opportunity to commit to one thing you want to consciously do differently even if it’s just for the next week. Try it out. You have nothing to lose!
Use the hashtag #GOOYOW so we can follow!