The guilt trap

 

In most of the workshops I host, when professional women talk about their lives and the need to prioritize and make decisions, the word ‘guilt’ always comes up.   Especially when talking about trying to juggle everything that’s important to us.

What’s incredible is the power that guilt can have over someone.

Guilt comes in all shapes and sizes.  Guilt of working too hard, not spending enough time at home, not spending enough time with their partners or parents, doing too little for family, for school, and on and on….

I get it.  I too feel guilty sometimes.

Luckily, I now know guilt is a choice and that it doesn’t help me, it just traps me.

If you think about it, we are choosing a feeling that limits us from actually doing what we want to be doing or at least enjoying it.

What I have also found with guilt is that when I spent time feeling guilty, often the other party that I am concerned about isn’t being impacted.  For example this past weekend, I chose to head out on a run alone, despite the fact that my four year old had told me she wanted to come on her bike.  When I left, I was feeling guilty about it, then realized I was throwing away the gift of being alone, worrying about her.

When I got back, she hadn’t even realized I was gone and never asked when we were going to go!

I was doing it to myself and feeling guilty wasn’t bringing me any value.

4 QUESTIONS to ask yourself if GUILT IS A FAMILIAR FEELING:

  1. What are you feeling guilty about?
  2. How are you benefitting from feeling guilty?
  3. What opportunities are you missing out on by feeling guilty?
  4. Why don’t your needs (in this situation or in general) matter?

Think about your answers. They are truthful!

We get to choose to feel guilty, or not.

It’s about developing a new habit. It will take time, but the more you practice the easier it is to be done with the guilt. trap.

So starting today, when your guilt surfaces, what do you want to do with it?

We’d love to hear from you.  Is there something you are going to choose to start doing guilt free? 

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