Internalizing Feedback – 3 Tips to Stop

Over the past few weeks I have been facilitating many workshops for TD Bank’s female entrepreneurial clients. Guiding these women through a strategic goal setting approach to help them get really clear about what is important to them at work and in life, and then creating a plan to make them happen… while expanding their networks with like-minded women. I love this work!

The workshop is designed to give the participants a lot of opportunities to share experiences, think strategically, plan and connect.

The energy in the room is vibrant, there’s lots of talking and as participants leave, I hear wonderful feedback.

Then there are the feedback forms.

As I was about to go through forms from the first workshop I literally found myself holding my breath before looking at the sheets.

For some reason I was nervous.

Nervous about uncovering someone didn’t derive tremendous value for the time they invested or didn’t have the same experience that I had intended for them or that they didn’t like my facilitation style, etc…

Nervous I was going to hear something negative.

Luckily I now know ways to get over myself and wanted to share 3 Tips so you can too:

#1: STOP ASSUMING IT’S NEGATIVE

How often do you make assumptions about how a pitch, meeting, talk, conversation went? When truly you don’t know what the other people actually think.

Stop assuming and either find out, or trust that you were fine.

That being said, if you find out that it is actually negative, don’t allow this negative feedback to negate all of the positive feedback you’ve received.

#2: IT DOESN’T LABEL YOU

Criticism can be tough. It often catches us off guard and rattles us.

The trick is not absorbing it as your “absolute truth”.

Perhaps part of what you are hearing is true, and it’s that specific area that you can choose to focus on and improve in. Be sure not to taint every other aspect of what you do or how you do it because of this specific feedback.

#3: FIND THE PEARL….IF THERE IS ONE, LEAVE THE REST!

If someone is providing you feedback, sometimes there is true value in it, and other times it is just the person’s opinion.

Like when we first moved into our home that was freshly re-painted a new neighbor came through, letting us know she wouldn’t have painted it.

Just an opinion. Neither right nor wrong.

It’s up to us to let it go.  To trust that if there is something to learn from it, we can and will, and the next time we take similar action or are in a similar situation, it will be different, and better!

Have an amazing day!!

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